Lately, I have had a hesitation before kissing my husband. I hope this is not TMI. But, the air is so dry in our home, that with every quick goodbye or welcome home kiss comes a small electric shock. (I guess I could look at it as, “After 34 years together sparks are still flying.”) But still, I brace myself for that nanosecond of discomfort before greeting my husband.
This morning, the Holy Spirit is showing me how I am doing the same thing with Him. 2019 and 2020 were difficult years for me. (The first 51 days of 2021 has kept my eyebrows raised as well.). I have been disappointed in the Church, in leaders, and in people I consider Christians.
And this disappointment in God’s people has caused me to question God. To question His prophetic voice speaking to me and especially speaking through others.
So I am hesitant when I hear his voice. I brace myself for disappointment when I pray. I curb my enthusiasm when I dream.
How do I break this stronghold? Change the narrative.
Instead of focusing on the disappointments, focus on the triumphs.
Instead of focusing on people, focus on His faithfulness.
Instead of focusing on the pain, focus on the fruit produced from the pain.
God has been speaking to me, “Get out of the boat.”
Because of the disappointments in the last two year, my response is “Show me where to go and I will.”
But maybe God is saying, “Tust me. Get out of the boat and then I will reveal next steps.”
To break this stronghold and have the faith to get out of the boat, I need to believe what I preach:
He will not let me drown.
His ability to keep me walking in the right direction far exceeds my ability to stray.
His promises concerning me are “yes and amen.”
The past does not dictate my future. It prepared me for my future.
Despite the threat of momentary discomfort, I still greet my husband with a welcome home or goodbye kiss.
Despite the threat of discomfort of the unknown, I will get out of the boat.
“Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.”
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11 NLT