A Frustrated Husband

My husband became frustrated with me the other day. He said, “Honey, you are a great cook.” I jokingly said, “You mean when I actually cook.” He sighed in frustration and said, “No, I meant what I said.”

You see over the last few months, every time he gives me a compliment, I find a way to discount it or disqualify it. I didn’t realize I was doing this until the other day. He was frustrated with me because I was refusing to believe the me he sees. In essence, I was calling him a liar every time I refused to accept his compliment.

I wonder if God gets frustrated with us when we refuse to believe who He says we are? I wonder if God is sighing in heaven and saying, “No, I meant it when I said you were forgiven, healed, beautiful, Free, loved, equipped, strong, powerful, mine.”

I had to stop and ask God, why was I doing that. Why was I having a hard time receiving compliments from my husband? When I think about it, I think it is connected to this feeling I have of being stuck. Stuck in my writing. Stuck in my ministry. And the root of it all is fear. Fear that my best is not good enough. Fear that I will give my all and will still fall on my face. So I discount my efforts. I make excuses why what I have given, could be better.

So how do I overcome this fear? I rest in His love. His love for me is not dependent upon my book sales, how often I cook, or what the scale says. (I’m thankful for a husband that models God’s love towards me.) I give my all, knowing my all with His power will equal success. I see myself as God sees me and I do not apologize for the glory of God that shines through me. I will agree with who God says I am without disqualification.

Normally I end my post with a scripture. This morning God reminded me of a quote that I think is apropos. So I will end with that this morning.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Marianne Williamson

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